Full Metal Disasters
by Rinma
Summary: Chp. 2 up! Random stories of Ed and friends and how some good intentions end up the wrong way. Please RxR! Please!
1. Chapter 1

Eddo everyone! This is my first ever story! YAY! So if you don't mind...be gentle. I really don't know if you're gonna like it or not and really want to do a good job. I've written a couple stories, but on different sites, so I'm kinda familiar with all that is to be known. So, here I go!

**Chapter 1**

**Riza's Valentine Surprise**

It's nine o'clock pm on the night before Valentine's Day and Riza was in her apartment, reading over paperwork for the next days activities. "DAMN THAT MUSTANG!" she yelled as she threw away three sheets of paper discussing mini skirts into the wastebasket next to her desk. Removing a stray piece of hair from her eyes, Riza sat down and continued on with her reading. The next hour was torture for Riza as she had to bear with battle plans and Valentine's Day parties, especially a costume party brought up by you-know-who. Slamming down her reading glasses, Riza stood up and said, quite calmly, "I'm sick of this. I'm gonna get a drink." Moving out of her room, she began to wobble down the darkened hall to her kitchen. Once there, she pulled out a glass from one of the cabinets and filled it with water from the sink. She downed it, the cool water refreshening her. Then a loud crash was heard from behind as she whipped out her handgun and targeted the figure. A moment later, she put the safety on and sighed. "What am I going to do with you?" She asked as she picked Black Hiyate by the skin on the back of his neck. KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! Riza gave a look of confusion as she looked toward the door. 'Now who could that be?' She thought as she walked to the door.

"What we doing here?" Ed asked as he gave Roy an annoyed glace. Roy, not taking the pair of binoculars from his eyes, said," We're waiting." Sighing Ed looked back over to the front of Riza's one-story home. They had been sitting on the roof of an apartment building right across from Riza's for about three hours. According to Roy, they were 'surprise' Riza. But from across the street? "I'M TIRED OF THIS! WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THREE DAMN HOURS AND ALL SHE'S DONE IS SIT IN HER ROOM! SO TELL ME WHY-ARE-WE-HERE!" Ed yelled frustrated, veins pulsing from his forehead. Grabbing Roy by the collar he yelled, "NOW TELL ME HOW LONG'S THIS IS GONNA TAKE!" Releasing himself from Ed's grip, Roy picked up the binoculars from the ground and said, " I told you once before, I'm waiting for midnight to come before I execute my plan." Ed looked at him in confusion. "What...plan?" Ed said as a gleam of triumph came to Roy's eyes. "Let's just say a special gift for a special someone." GULP.

"Now why are we trying these on?" Riza asked as Whinry handed her another suit of lensurie to put on. "Because it's almost Valentine's Day and I believe as girls we outta be able to at least be able to wear something sexy on this special day of looove!" Whinry smiled as she shoved four pairs of red and pink lensurie outfits into Riza's arms and pushing her into her room. Before closing the door, she grabbed the key to Riza's apartment and said, " And I'm not gonna leave 'till you've tried on and I've seen you in everyone of those." Whinry grinned as Riza gave her a look of defeat. Closing the bedroom door, Whinry sat on the couch and waited for Riza. "You're momma's gonna look sooo good, isn't she?" Whinry said as she picked up Black Hiyate and began to stroke his fur.

It was about five till twelve and twenty suits when Whinry heard the doorbell ring. Getting up, she moved toward the door and looked through the eyepiece. No one. Opening it, Whinry stood out side and looked around until she found a box with a red ribbon. Picking it up, she noticed the tag on it read:

**To my Dearest Riza.**

"I wonder who it's from?" Whinry asked herself as she took the package inside. Riza came out right as Whinry closed the door. "What's that?" Asked Riza as Whinry sat back on the couch. "It's a package addressed to you." She said handing it to Riza. Glancing at the card, she opened the box and removed all the thin paper to reveal a red and black lensurie suit with a black mesh robe. Pulling it out, they noticed it was strapless with a support mechanism for the chest area. "Now...who would send me this?" Riza asked as Whinry eyes brightened. Noticing the look she was getting, she said, "Oh please no!" But she was too late because Whinry had already got her into her room with the door shut. Sighing, Riza though, ' It can't get any worst than this.'

" Miss Gun...Women and War...Guns and Diamonds! Poor girl, she doesn't have anything!" Whinry wined as she replaced the magazines with fashion and make-up magazines. RIIIIIIIIINNNGGG! Looking up, she looked at a small opening in the window drapes and saw figures. "Now who could that be?"

" Whinry, I forgot my-- " Started Riza as she walked into the living room when she saw Havoc, Hughes, Gracia, Cheska, Al, and Roy burst through the door yelling, "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!" But quickly stopped when they noticed Riza weary the lensurie outfit and her hair down. SNAP! "This picture's gonna go on my computer!" yelled Havoc as Riza began to blush furiously, grabbing her robe and putting it around her. "So I see you got my surprise Valentine's gift," said Roy," Tell me, do you like it?" Eyes wide Riza said, " You're the one who gave me this!" Smiling Roy said, "Yes I did. Just as I gave Whinry half those outfits you tried on earlier." Opening his eyes, he saw Riza Pull out a gun and say, "Roy Mustang...YOU'RE GONNA DIE AND BURN IN HELL FOR THIS!" She began to shoot at Roy. "Now Riza, it was only a gift...please stop...MOMMY! He begged as he attempted to dodge the bullets. In the kitchen, Whinry and everyone else was using the table as a shield from the bullets. Turning to Al, Whinry asked, "By the way, where's your brother?" Turning to her, Al said, "I saw him just before six when he left somewhere."

**On the apartment...**

Ed sat on the lawn chair he had brought and put his feet on the edge of the apartment. "Now this is what you call a wonderfully fun Valentine's Day." He said as he began to eat a bag of popcorn and watch as the front door was burst open as Roy ran out wildly, running down the street with Riza scooting at him wildly, hot on his trail as everyone opened the drapes to the large window to watch.

Okay, for the first story, I think I did good. Well, I really hoped you liked it. AHHH! It's five o'clock in the morning! oh well. Well, review kindly!


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Birthday Surprise**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any FMA**

It was a sunny Thursday morning when Colonel Roy Mustang was called to central

for a meeting. He rearrived back to his oh-so-loving office that sunday. Fury was waiting for him

near the entrance of the building.

" So, how was it?" Fury asked, a slight smile on his face. Roy walked by him with pride

until everyone was gone. Then he plopped himself on one of the nearby benches. " Exhausting!"

he sighed and wiped his forehead. Fury came over and sat beside him and handed him a small

box that had a bow and a small card that said 'Happy Birthday' on it. "For...me!" Roy took it and

opened it to reveal a small Riza wearing a mini-skirt plushie. His eyes went bubbly as he began to

tear and hug it with all his might. " IT'S SOOOO CUTE! AND IT'S JUST WHAT I WANTED!"

" That's not all of your surprise..." Fury put a blindfold on Roy and the Riza plushie(roy wanted him

to do it) and led him to the cafeteria. There he took the blindfold off...into total darkness.

"...Why are we standing here in the dark?" Roy asked, confused.

" HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

All of a sudden the lights came on to reveal everyone, all wearing birthday hats and blowing

little kazoos, confetti falling along with a large sign that read, ' HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLONEL

MUSTANG!'

" All of this...for me! " Roy said...tears coming to his eyes. " This couldn't get any better!"

About two hours later the party ended, and an even more exhausted Roy Mustang made his

way to his office. Poor him during the whole this wished to see Riza at least once, but she was gone.

_Sigh, maybe she's still mad at me for switching her favorite pair of underwear with a thong that has a _

_picture of myself..._ He sighed and opened his door and made his way to the middle of the room so as

turn on the light.

" I wonder what she..." Roy stopped in mid-sentance.

There sitting on the lounge chair was Riza, tied up and wearing a mini-skirt along with duck

tape across her mouth. Not to mention her hair was down.

Riza woke to see Roy standing in the center of his office, a dazed look on his face. _Damn _

_that idiot Havoc! When i get out of this he's dead! Grr! Not to mention what he meant by birthday_

_surprise...Oh well._

" Oy met meh ooota eer!" She said, her voice muffled by the duck tape as she wriggled around.

**( She said " Roy get me outta here!" for those who couldn't figure it out)**

Looking back up at Roy she noticed he had an evil grin on his face, his hand on the light chain.

_What's he up to!..._

All of a sudden he pulled the light switch and the room went dark as Roy chuckled an evil

chuckle. " Oooh Riizaa!"

_...Crap..._

Sorry it took meh soo long to get this chappy up! Well, I hope you like it so RxR or i'll track you down

and make you eat cookies! Not really, but i would really love it if peoplz would review! It makes me

feel special!


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